雅思阅读美文赏析：培养良好的人际关系

　　雅思阅读中不乏优美的文章，和小标一起来欣赏一则人际关系相关的美文吧!

　　Every relationship is a sacred dance. There are moments when partners are so aligned that they move as one. At other times, they struggle over who is leading and step on each other’s toes. Peace and success in life require us to be masters of relationships.

　　每一段人际关系都是一曲圣洁的舞蹈。舞伴们有时会步调一致、整齐划一;有时会彼此争先、互相挤踩。生活的祥和与成功要求我们必须精通人际交往。

　　Several essential principles support healthy relationships. Integrate these basic tenets into your view of yourself and the people in your life, and you will experience a renewed sense of freedom and optimism in your relationships.

　　这里有一些基本原则能够帮助建立良好的人际关系。将这些基本要素融入对自己和对生活中其他人的看法中去，你就会在人际交往中收获全新的自由和乐观情绪。

　　1. We are responsible for our own emotional life.

　　要为自己的情绪负责。

　　If we are to experience comfortable, nourishing relationships, we have to relinquish the idea that someone else can make us feel a certain way. If we hold another person responsible when we are upset, we surrender our power, which makes us less capable of creating the outcome we seek. If there is something that is lacking in one of your core relationships, cast off the role of victim and commit to creating the love you deserve.

　　如果想拥有融洽、健康的人际关系，我们就必须摒弃是他人影响了我们的情绪这种想法。如果我们认为心烦意乱是别人造成的，我们就放弃了自己的权力，这会使我们更加难以得到自己努力寻求的结果。如果在你的主要人际关系中存在某种欠缺，那就抛弃受害者的角色，全身心地创造你应该得到的爱吧。

　　2. Healthy relationships are based upon a deep rooted conviction in equality.

　　良好的人际关系是以深深植根的平等理念为基础的。

　　Ego-rooted relationships reinforce insecurities. When one person criticizes, demeans, or asserts authority over another, it may temporarily improve the self-esteem of one by lowering another’s, but this assumption of power is always vulnerable. Relationships based upon mutual respect liberate energy that becomes available for creativity.

　　以自我为中心的人际关系只会增加不安全感。当一个人指责、贬低，或者是向他人施压的时候，这只会暂时他的自尊而降低另一个人的自尊，这种自以为是的强势总是不堪一击的。建立在相互尊重基础上的人际关系能够释放你的能力，从而激发你的创造力。

　　This principle is of particular importance when the relationship is between an adult and a child. It is essential for the parent to recognize the child’s equality on the level of the soul. If this intention is present throughout children’s upbringing, they will develop a sense of dignity and respect that will serve them throughout their lives.

　　在成人和孩子的关系中，这一理念尤其重要。父母应该承认孩子在精神上与成人是平等的。如果这个观念一直陪伴着孩子的成长过程，孩子就会建立起自尊自重的个性，这会令他们终生受益。

　　3. Conscious communication builds nurturing relationships.

　　有意识的交流能帮助建立良好的人际关系。

　　Determine what you need and ask for it. Teach the people in your family to identify their needs and express themselves in ways that increase the likelihood that their needs will be met.

　　确定自己需要什么，然后提出要求。要教会家人认清自己的需要，并知道怎样表达才能使要求被满足的可能性更大。

　　Show your children how to get needs met without resorting to emotional escalation. Your behavior provides the most compelling lesson.

　　教会孩子怎样才能不借助情绪升级就能使愿望得到满足。你的行为举止就是最有说服力的教材。

　　4. Give what you seek.

　　奉献你的所爱。

　　Human beings have four basic needs in a relationship: attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance. We give attention by making eye contact. We express affection by connecting physically with sensitivity and permission. We demonstrate appreciation by telling and showing people that they add value to our lives. We provide acceptance by cultivating an internalconversation of recognizing ourselves in the other and the other in ourselves.

　　人在交际关系中有四个基本需求：关注、关爱、感激和接受。我们通过目光接触传达关注，通过肢体上敏感而赞许的接触表达关爱，通过语言和行动告诉他人他们对我们的重要性来表示感激，通过营造你中有我我中有你的内心联系展示接纳。

　　Be generous with the people in your life and you will spontaneously see these expressions returning to you in kind. If you have children, shower them with attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance and watch them flourish.

　　慷慨地对待你生命中遇到的人吧，自然而然你就会发现别人会以同样的方式回报你。

　　5. Remember that life is short.

　　谨记生命短暂。

　　Enjoy what you have. Don’t waste time indulging in petty grievances. We sometimes avoid healing our relationships, because we anticipate there will be plenty of time in the future. Do what you can from your side to create peace now. Free your heart from grievances and regrets now. Do not allow your present to be trapped in the past.

　　享受你拥有的一切。不要将时间浪费在琐碎的抱怨上。有时我们会回避修复人际关系，因为我们预想将来还有的是时间。从现在开始，从自身做起，竭尽全力去营造和谐的氛围。让你的心远离抱怨和悔恨，不要让现在的你深陷在过去，难以自拔。